Broken-ness as Freedom

If something cannot function, it can no longer be defined by it’s function. It may be scraped, disposed of, forgotten. But it’s now free to define itself – outside of the narrow, utilitarian definition it was previously given. it may need to redefine itself from the scrap heap or the bin, but it can do it.

The rotten apple is no longer washed, packaged and sold for consumption, like it’s perfect brethren.

brokenness can be varying degrees of severity and permanence.

The rotten apple is free to reveal and revel in it’s own self, it’s own brokenness, it’s own mould.

We say ‘broken person’ – someone who has hit emotional and mental rock bottom.

We say ‘I’m broke’ – out of money.

Times people may feel broken; after a traumatic attack, after assault, because of miscarriage, because of rejection, relationship breakdown, divorce, erectile dysfunction, when you’re hungover, have flu, in hospital. When you fail to fulfil a role.

When have I felt broken?

When I’m depressed. When I’m late, absent or cannot complete course work on time. When I can’t get aroused. When I’m always tired. When everything has gone wrong.

We probably all feel broken sometimes.

Who has designed us, and for what purposes? What purposes are we assigned, which do we make for ourselves?

I am more socially broken through my choices to be gay, queer, femme, to not reproduce, to have sex that cannot cause conception, to be an artist. I’m not attracting men, reproducing, consuming enough or contributing to the economy enough to fulfil my socially assigned purposes/functions.

I am more personally broken because of depression. I cannot be as happy or active or efficient as I would give myself the purpose to be.

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